Best/Worst Ever Conversations With Boys On The Interwebz

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I told myself I’d go on 10 internet dates in Alice Springs. After my first internet date turned out to be potentially the shortest date of all time (24 minutes), I got straight back online. Youthful optimism, desperation or naivety? Who knows. There were usually only 3-5 guys at a time who matched my stringent criteria (‘lives within 500km’ and ‘male seeking female’) so I spoke to them all online. Here’s the highlights package:

1. So, wat u do for work, jus art n shit? I work for dept justice yep that means prison warden lol. 

Prison! What a lolfest! ROFLfest in fact! Spelling aside, where am I supposed to go after my chosen career had been summed up with ‘n shit?’ I still met up for coffee with this guy. For 24 minutes.

2. I drive trucks got my own truck so we cud go 2 Uluru if u want cud be good way 2 get 2 no each other but sorry it wud hav 2 be 1 way unless u wanna come 2 adelaide.

A free 6 hour one way trip to Uluru (Ayers Rock) with a complete stranger? What a great idea for a first date! NOT!

3. I am coming over from interstate in two months. I cannot wait until the magical moment when we finally meet. 

I added this guy because he was dressed up as a pirate in his profile picture. I couldn’t tell if he was sarcastic or serious, so I deleted him as a contact.

4. You’ve seen my photo. I’ve seen yours. Would you like to come around to my apartment tonight? Why not?

Unfortunately I place a higher value on my personal safety than I do on perfect spelling, punctuation and sentence structure, that’s why, stud.

 

Desertdates has been swept off her feet by a breakdancing Mormon, been on blind dates, speed dates, silent dates, the world’s shortest date and double dated somebody’s mother. Currently living in Tasmania, she’s dated lots of blokes in remote desert places like Alice Springs. She is a Horseriding Fisherwoman, constantly Getting Back On The Horse and fishing for those Plenty More Fish In The Sea. She’s going to canter along on that damned horse whilst casting her fishing rod out into the ocean, or sit on a horse on a fishing trawler. Either way, she won’t give up. 

 

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