Meredith’s Worst Date EVER

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Let’s keep in mind that I once went on a date with a man who told me he lived his life like the Unabomber and that he was really into threesomes – with either two girls or two guys. Now that you have that in your head let me repeat: I just went on the worst date ever in the history of me.

It began innocently enough. He is perfectly attractive and I think in the right mood or setting he is probably hilarious. But he is also one of those men you wouldn’t ever want to date. I mean, someone would and will. But not me. Good Lord, not me.

Instead of giving you the complete run-down I will just give you some advice of what not to do on a date. Men, this is especially for you:

-Do not use the expression: “I’ve never hit a woman, but if I see her again I want to hit her.”

-Do not tell me, when seeing a bruise on your mother’s arm from her current boyfriend, that you told her: “Serves you right for divorcing dad.”

-Do not bring up gay marriage if you are going to say that gay people are in it just for the money. And do not refer to adoptive parents as “step-parents.”

-Do not tell me about your extended family if they are crazy white trash that no one wants anything to do with.

-Please do not incessantly talk about your ex. And if you were with her for three years do not tell me only the negative. It makes you sound very small.

-When a girl asks you what your guilty pleasure is she wants a really bad TV show or song. You should not answer “married chicks.” Yeah, I was gonna say “America’s Got Talent” or the “Call me maybe” song and you just said being a homewrecker is your guilty pleasure.

-And, when the date is going so badly that other people are actually looking over at your date with sympathetic eyes, do not ask her “So am I gonna get a call back?”

And thus ends the worst date in the history of me. Figures this is the guy who actually wants to see me again.

Like this story from Meredith? Read more from her at her blog.

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