Tag Archives: writer

Gaby Moss Finds True Love in Recovery

Gaby Moss!

You know how it is. You meet the person of your dreams, they used to be a drug addict, you make plans to change your life around for them and then this happens. Oh, and it’s hilarious because it’s told by Bustle’s very own clever as ever writer Gaby Moss…

 

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Surprise whispered sweet nothings on dinner date…

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First + Very BAD Date

I was divorced for 3 years and my friends decided it was time for me to start dating.
I acquiesced and the suggestions started rolling in.

The date was set.  We met at a restaurant on the East River in NYC.
I knew who to look for because I did my research.  “He” was a published author and screenwriter.

I had gone to the library (yes folks this was a LONG TIME AGO) and found “his” book and looked for a photo.  Not bad looking – actually interesting and quite attractive.

All of this is why I agreed to meet him.

So we met. I wasn’t sure if it was him.  The headshot in his book was about 20 years old.  I neglected to register the dates.  I psyched myself into enjoying the dinner and evening.

The dinner was delicious.  When I realized I counted 32 boats on the East River, I acknowledged something was amiss but I couldn’t put my finger on it.  Here was a smart guy, nice looking, accomplished and yet my radar said “nope – he is a bit strange”.

I got my answer toward the end of our dinner when he leaned across the table (I thought he was going to say, “You are so beautiful OR I am having a lovely evening OR ?????) and said…

“I have a Big Wiener”.  I swear this is the absolute truth.  It is unusual for me to not have anything to say but I didn’t have anything to say.  I sat there with my mouth open (I know what you’re thinking).  I didn’t know whether to  be more shocked that a guy in his 50’s called his manhood a “wiener” or that he actually said this out loud.

My cousin Tina suggested I should have put my hand in the air, snapped my fingers and said “Waiter – mustard please”.

 

This photo is credited to the i can haz cheezburger website and its general awesome job of amassing photos of cats in more carefully constructed wardrobes than our own.
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